Articles & features

With the possible exception of Stephen Miller

When Donald Trump doesn’t like a number, he angrily denies it, then fires the monster behind it.

The Francis Ford Coppola-cowritten anti-war epic Patton convinced Richard Nixon to be even more pro-war. A little over a half-century later, it inspired the drunken buffoon Trump appointed the Secretary of WAR to be even more of a toxic tool.

After splitting with Trump, Elon Musk vowed to form a third party. Here are some of the many reasons that is a terrible idea.

I was skeptical when noted medical geniuses Donald Trump and RFK Jr. said they’d find the cause and cure for autism but I will be the first to concede they succeeded!

If you want to know how Donald Trump will be mourned, just take a look at the way Charlie Kirk has been deified in his death.

We never should have even thought about writing this article.

Whether you’re a small child or a punk hitting your bottom on heroin and cocaine in the late 1970s, Yo Gabba Gabba! is full of life lessons.

We hope you're hungry for some meaty arguments! 

Not all celebrities remain rich and famous forever. Here are five who went from wealth and fame to being homeless street trash.

We were going to share some neat trivia about actress Mena Suvari but since you don’t even know who she is we’re not even going to bother.

You’ve seen all the memes! Now see them all again, this time with punishingly literal commentary!

Yes, Virginia, Dennis Rodman and Dane Cook really did star in a movie together, 1999’s Simon Sez. And yes, it was just as fucking miserable as you would imagine. Robert Downey Jr. really dodged a bullet dropping out of this turkey.

The notoriously awful Sex and the City sequel ended with a notoriously godawful insult of a finale that proves that Kim Cattrall was right about everything.

In 1990 Nicolas Cage made Firebirds, the first of several thousand forgettable action vehicles unworthy of his talent or originality.

In the early oughts Robert Evans briefly had his own raunchy animated vehicle? Was it a flop? You bet your sweet ass it is was!

It’s Psycho Versus Psychlo in the cinematic war of the millennium!

The Beach Boys least successful album sold less than one thousand copies and had zero contributions from Brian Wilson. It was, however, perversely drum machine heavy and featured Mike Love rapping.

Yes, rapping.

It is not good.

I finally got around to seeing 2019’s Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker and it’s so bad that it’s making me re-think my decision to devote my life to Star Wars fandom.

Great meme, terrible movie.

Hoo boy. This movie is BAD.

In 1990 Nicolas Cage made Firebirds, the first of several thousand forgettable action vehicles unworthy of his talent or originality.

It’s Psycho Versus Psychlo in the cinematic war of the millennium!

John Travolta has big fun with a very big performance as a colorful lawman/law-breaker in the appealingly vulgar exploitation movie To Paris With Love.

Hey, you know what movie is great? Get Shorty. That movie is SO good.

Shortly before the release of Battflefield Earth John Travolta contributed a voice to 1999’s Our Friend, Martin, an insane special with the balls to ask, “Why don’t 12 year olds from the present travel back in time to save Martin Luther King’s life?”

Nicolas Cage has got Laura Dern hotter than Georgia asphalt in David Lynch’s gleefully bonkers Southern-fried, Palme D’Or-winning Neo-Noir.

Our deep dive into the complete discography of Nicolas Cage continues with a look back at the muddled 1993 inter-racial buddy comedy Amos & Andrew, a maddening heap of missed opportunities and muddled satire.

One of you kind souls paid me to experience one of the weirdest, most hypnotically awful kid’s shows of all time, a bizarre pastiche of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Transformers and Mighty Morphin Power Rangers realized through mesmerizingly terrible CGI.

My journey through the Halloween films continues with a mortified look back at Rob Zombie’s muddled 2007 reboot.

Michael Myers is the pawn of a Druid cult in the marvelously misguided 1995 stinker Halloween 6: The Curse of Michael Myers. Plus Paul Rudd as Tommy Jarvis in his film debut!

Michael Myers returns (again) in a wonderfully terrible stinker with a crazed performance by Donald Pleasance as an utterly unhinged Dr. Loomis.

“You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.”

Michael Meyers is back, baby! That’s not cause for excitement, I’m afraid, on account of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Meyers sucking.