Tales From the Crypt Season 3, Episode 2: "Carrion Death"

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Despite its title the Tales From the Crypt television show took inspiration for its various terror tales not just from the iconic E.C Comic Book of the same name but also from the similarly spooky titles like The Haunt of Fear, The Vault of Horror, Crime SuspenStories and Shock SuspenStories. 

There nasty narratives overlapped so extensively that they could sometimes seem all but indistinguishable but there were some major differences between the comic books that formed the primordial ooze out of which Tales From the Crypt emerged. 

Tales from the Crypt, The Haunt of Fear and The Vault of Horror leaned heavily on horror of the supernatural variety while the fright fables of Crime SuspenStories and Shock SuspenStories largely eschewed monsters, boogiemen and beasties for hard-boiled morality tales rooted in the horrors of greed, lust, hatred and other unfortunate elements of human misbehavior. 

Some of the best episodes of Tales From the Crypt are completely devoid of supernatural elements. Executive Producer Walter Hill was particularly skilled in crafting unforgettable episodes rooted in the nastiness of real life rather than monsters. 

It is consequently high praise to say that “Carrion Death” feels like a Hill episode even though it was written and directed by hotshot action screenwriter Steven E. de Souza, who attained permanent cinematic immortality for co-writing the beloved Christmas classic Die Hard, one of the most perfect action scripts ever written, in addition to working on the screenplays for cult classics like 48 Hours, Commando and The Running Man. 

“Carrion Death” is a terrific vehicle for Kyle MacLachlan, who was starring as Agent Dale Cooper around this time and looks absolutely fantastic as Diggs, a sociopathic serial killer who busts out of death row (no small feat, presumably) and high-tails it to Mexico and freedom. Alas, a motorcycle cop is very intent on making sure his prey does not reach his destination and that the heartless mass murderer continues to suffer for what appear to be mid-level crimes against humanity. 

Weird entry in the “Carry On” series! #MoreLaughs #MoreFun #LiveLaughLove

“Carrion Death” opens with Diggs fleeing a bank robbery (why not add one more felony to the list?) with what is unfortunately an iconic Tales From the Crypt line: “Move, bitch.” Later, as part of an endless, stream-of-consciousness monologue designed to keep him from completely losing his mind in the deadly desert, and of course entertain the rubes in the audience, Diggs grouses, “Women! Aaaugh. You can't live with 'em, you can't fit more than one in a trunk at a time.” 

This even more iconically Tales From the Crypt line echoes last week’s key line from “Loved To Death”, from the creepy landlord who gives a lust-crazed Andrew McCarthy first a love potion then a deadly poison, "Women, huh? You can’t live with them, but you can’t cut them into little pieces and tell the neighbors she’s in Palm Springs, either.” 

The men of Tales From the Crypt have a lot of different ideas about women, but they all seem to prominently involve murdering them and vivisecting their death bodies. Though the dogged cop pursuer plays a major role in the story “Carrion Death” is in many ways a one man show/showcase for a game and delighted MacLachlan, who spends most of the episode talking animatedly to himself as he haplessly tries to negotiate a way to survive in the blazing heat of the desert while being stalked by both a relentless lawman and a vulture who ghoulishly hangs around the desperate fugitive with an air of hungry anticipation. 

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Cinematographer Robert Draper, who shot much of the Creepshow reboot and Dr. Giggles makes the heartless, barren desert a force as sinister and deadly as Diggs himself, a bad, bad man who delights in his own wickedness just as much the actor playing him enjoys devouring scenery and hamming it up as his already precarious condition keeps deteriorating. 

Diggs manages to kill his cop pursuer but the lawman enacts posthumous revenge by swallowing the keys to the handcuffs connecting them in a hellish death-chain. 

When Diggs tries to rationalize his crimes he only makes himself seem worse, like when he complains, “You know what's worse than the goddam lawyers and the goddam judges? It's the fuckin' newspapers, man. They tried me in the press. They called me a sick, perverted sadist. That's just total bullshit. I didn't mutilate a single one of those girls until after they were already dead. 'Course, if they knew about the five I killed in Kansas, I'd still be on trial.”

MacLachlan is having a fuck-ton of fun here playing a ridiculous cartoon of a crazed criminal but the broad comic aspect of the actor’s performance does not keep this episode from being genuinely creepy and suspenseful. De Souza does a fine job walking a tricky tonal tightrope between pulpy, over-the-top vulgarity and grounded action.

There is no moral ambiguity here. There is no good side to Diggs. He’s a fucking murderous lunatic who deserves all of the horrible things that happen to him and then some and the cop is never anything but a good man doing a thankless job that ends up costing him his life. 

“Carrion Death” starts out pummelingly intense and maintains that level of brutality until a gory ending that’s shocking and graphic even by Tales From the Crypt standards. Everything works in “Carrion Death”, down to the animal actors playing the vultures, who manage to be simultaneously kind of cute, utterly horrifying and feathered, sentient portents of death.

This demented desert death trip is a work of great craftsmanship that ranks among the top tier of Tales From the Crypt episodes. It’s a sweaty, visceral shocker that illustrates just how strong the anthology could be when it left the ghouls and beasties behind and focussed on the monstrous elements of human nature. 

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