Six Marginally Funny Vin Diesel "Family" Memes Absolutely Destroyed by Overly Literal Explanations
Memes! They’re wonderful little slices of online comedy heaven that fill our sad little lives with humor and allow us to briefly forget how hopelessly fucked we all are.
But if you are a lazy freelance writer memes can be something more. They can be content! Not good content, mind you, or original content, or even content that adds anything whatsoever to the cultural conversation but content all the same.
And what is the internet if not a seething hive of sweet, sweet content?
But unless you’re Buzzfeed, you can’t just run a list of popular memes or jokes without providing at least something in the way of commentary.
Of course the whole point of memes is that they are so grabby and immediate and plugged into the cultural zeitgeist that everyone pretty much understands them immediately.
Yet that doesn’t keep articles like this one from completely ruining only marginally amusing memes unnecessary commentary.
So enjoy some half-funny memes that have already worn out their welcome with explanations so stilted they’ll rob you of what little pleasure there is to be had from these instantly dated little trifles.
Moody Anakin Skywalker has a good question for you, there, Dom Toretto, the family-obsessed proud patriarch of the Fast and the Furious franchise. What ARE you doing in space?
That’s not your world, Dom! You’re a tough but tender street racer/criminal turned world-saving action hero with a heart of gold. You certainly do not belong in a science-fiction realm like this!
Without gravity, someone like Dom would probably die a horrible death almost immediately. That’s why it is certainly humorous to see him in such an unlikely, incongruous situation.
Cars cannot fly, let alone assist the future Darth Vader on a mission. Yet with the power of “family" anything is possible, or so this humorous online graphic would have you believe!
As online denizens are perhaps aware, Only Fans is a controversial, much talked about website that allows exhibitionists to sell access to cyber-voyeurs in exchange for cold hard cash in the form of subsection charges.
The title Only Fans would not appeal to the famously, and one might even argue humorously familia-crazed papa of an outsized brood of street-racing outlaw heroes, as represented by an image borrowed from a famous Drake meme of a hand held up in displeasure and objection.
No, for Dom and these wonderful, wonderful memes that make us all so happy it’s all about family. That’s why a title like “Only FAMILY” WOULD have Dom grinning big and gesturing affirmatively and positively like Drake does in the popular meme template.
It’s a laugh and a half seeing these always funny, always original, perpetually fresh memes combined! Are we living in a Golden Age of Comedy and Culture or what?
Americans sure love their pets! For many Americans, dogs, cats, rabbits and fish are more than just pets or animal companions: they’re members of the family, “fur babies” every bit as loved as their human counterparts.
And nobody loves dogs quite like John Wick, who was a stoic retired assassin living a quiet life far removed from the violence and bloodshed of his old existence when an unfortunate chance incident with a brutal thug resulted in the murder of his beloved puppy.
So if the legendary John Wick were to implore Dom Toretto to assist him on his deeply personal mission for vengeance for his adorable dog by appealing to his well-known softness for the concept of “family”, he would certainly be receptive!
Because Dom is all about family, as we have established to an exhaustive and exhausting degree.
Mothers! They’re the backbone of the American family! They’re as American as the flag, apple pie and Superman. So it’s only right that when he’s not fighting for truth, justice and the American way, Superman/Clark Kent is thinking about his adopted earth mother Martha Kent.
As we learn in a crucial, much mocked moment in Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice, Bruce Wayne/Batman and Clark Kent/Superman both have mothers named Martha. They connect over the most powerful bond of all: the bond of family.
This meme humorously imagines what might happen if Dom Toretto were to happen upon this particular tableau. As you we have established, he is family-oriented, so he would undoubtedly want revenge on anyone who might harm “Martha”, since she is family. Who knows, maybe Dom’s mother is ALSO named Martha? Wouldn’t that be funny, or at least an amusing coincidence?
When it comes to casual dining restaurants, the American people are blessed with many fine options. But only one chain famously offers unlimited salad and breadsticks, scarily authentic Italian food and an ethos that prioritizes family above all else.
I’m talking about Olive Garden, an Italian-American casual restaurant chain headquartered in Orange County, California, of course. The popular chain’s slogan was “When you’re here, you’re family” for a number of years before switching to "We're all family here."
Needless to say, both of these slogans would appeal to Dom, as would its family dining vibe. Who knows, maybe he could even drink a nice cold Corona at Olive Garden with all of his Fast and Furious gearhead buddies! We don’t know if Olive Garden serves alcohol, and as you can probably infer from the general tenor of this article, we’re too lazy to find out.
The thing that is very, very funny about Dom Toretto, and could certainly never get old, is that he LOVES family. That’s his whole deal! He’s all “family this” and “family that.”
He’s really into family! Consequently if he had to choose between watching the wildly popular 1990s sitcom Friends, which recently had a buzzed about reunion special, or the Perfect Strangers spin-off Family Matters, he would undoubtedly choose Family Matters on the basis of its title alone.
Don’t even think about making fun of Jaleel White’s iconic nerd Urkel to Dom. In Dom’s eyes, the legendary Poindexter isn’t just a family friend of the Winslows; he’s family and I think we all know how Dom feels about family.
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