People Are Calling Out Which Celebrities Would Kill Hobos and It's Honestly Not That Interesting
People across the internet are calling out the celebrities that they think might stab a hobo— and it's sparking a conversation that honestly isn’t particularly interesting.
It all started when Reddit user James Sanderson asked, "What celebrity do you think would shank a railroad hobo?" The thread quickly went viral, garnering thousands of responses, almost all of which are fairly dull.
1. Eric Roberts
“If the star of Star 80 and The Dark Knight were ever to find himself in a position where he either had to stab a hobo or get stabbed I have no doubt that Roberts would get to stabbing with the quickness.”
—u/Hum-Dinger
2. Angela Lansbury
“Lansbury seems like a classy lady but you know she killed a hobo or two in her time.”
—u/PlayStairWaytoHeaven
3. Tom Hanks
“It’s always the ones you least expect, isn’t it? Nobody would expect Tom Hanks to end the lives of bindle-toting, train-riding transients, which means that he’s definitely guilty or murdering at least one hobo.”
—u/BieberFeverBelieber
4. Eric Trump
“Eric clearly models himself after American Psycho protagonist Patrick Bateman, who famously worships Donald Trump and murders the homeless without guilt or shame.”
u/BretLeastonEllis
5. Donald Trump Jr.
“Jr. has DEFINITELY murdered hobos. He’s got “thrill killer” written all over him.”
—u/Gobbless
6. Donald Trump
“With Donald Trump, it’s not a matter of whether or not he’s killed hobos but rather just how many hobos he’s killed. It’s probably in the double digits.”
—u/degrassijuniohighstoner
7. Ivanka Trump
“She tries to act so prim and proper and above it all but you know she’s got a formidable body count when it comes to plunging blades into the sore-ridden skin of transients, then watching with sick glee as they bleed out.”
—u/Redpilledthriller
8. Jordan Peterson
“Peterson has the dead-eyed glare of someone who has stabbed a homeless person in the subway as an intellectual exercise/to see if he could get away with it.”
—u/Dinoroarman
9. Joyce Carol Oates
“I can easily see Oates stabbing a hobo for research for one of her novels or short stories and then loving the feeling so much she can’t stop doing it.”
—u/WestCoastrapStan
10. David Hyde Pierce
“This isn’t conjecture. I’ve actually seen the seemingly mild-mannered Frasier star murder a hobo with their own bindle. It was brutal, something I’ll never forget. The guy turns into a homicidal lunatic around student nurses and the homeless.”
—u/ILoveFraiser
11. Bryan Cranston
“Bryan Cranston worked as a railroad cop before he was an actor and a big part of that job involves stabbing hobos. The Breaking Bad star has blood on his hands.”
—u/muddledman
12. Stabby Joe the Hobo Stabber
“Stabby Joe the Hobo Stabber isn’t exactly famous but we can say with complete confidence that he HAS killed hobos. Probably a few. You don’t get a nickname like that for nothing.”
—u/Hoboreport
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