Jerry Rice and the Sublimely Silly Tweet

There’s something inherently sad about even the most successful retired professional athletes. They train and practice and work hard all their lives to become the best in the world at what they do but then a time comes when they can no longer compete and have to find a new way to make a living. 

Jerry Rice, a San Francisco 49er legend widely considered the greatest wide receiver in NFL history followed a predictable path from gridiron glory to Gatorade commercials, a slot on Dancing With the Stars, books and a co-hosting gig on a show called Sports Sunday that is broadcast in the San Francisco area. 

Rice even lent his name and image, and the name and image of his dog, to a game called Jerry Rice & Nitus' Dog Football. Seeing as I have not cared about football since early in the Clinton era I honestly don’t give a fuck about that, although I am mildly intrigued that he got to do a game with his actual dog. 

No, the reason why Rice’s post-NFL career interests me is because four years ago or so he posted, then deleted quite possibly the greatest, or worst tweet in the history of Twitter. 

A month and a half after an obnoxious young woman named Danielle Peskowitz Bregoli went viral for incoherently threatening Dr. Phil and his studio audience during a taping of his show by taunting, “Cash me outside. How bout that?” Rice decided the time had come for him to score hipness points with the young people by referencing the clip in the most adorably grandpa-like manner possible. 

For reasons known only to Rice, in his magnificent, inexplicable tweet, the words “Cash me ousside #HowBowDah Just joking have you guys seen the video” are accompanied by an image of Rice’s disembodied head smiling while taking a selfie at what looks like the omelette bar of an upscale hotel restaurant. 

There are so many questions I want to ask Rice about this tweet. If I had an hour to interview him, fifty nine of those minutes would be about the tweet and the last one would be about playing with Joe Montana. 

Why, for the love of god, did Rice choose that particular image to share with the world? What did it have to do with the tweet or Bregoli’s outburst? Why isn’t there a period after #HowBowDah? Why isn’t there an exclamation point after “Just Joking?” Why isn’t there a question mark after “have you guys seen the video?” 

Why did Rice feel the need to say he’s just joking? Is he worried that people will take him at face value and see the tweet as a threat, that if they do, in fact, “catch him outside” he’ll beat the holy living shit out of them as only a world-class athlete can? 

Rice deleted the tweet after he was joyously mocked throughout social media but it could be worse. 

The 49er legend made headlines of an even more embarrassing variety when he responded to 49er Colin Kaepernick protesting the playing of the National Anthem by taking a knee when he tweeted “All lives matter. So much going on in this world today. Can we all just get along! Colin, I respect your stance but don’t disrespect the flag.” 

When folks pointed out that “All Lives Matter” was often, if not invariably, a racist attempt to de-legitimize Black Lives Matter as a sentiment and an organization Rice claimed not to be familiar with Black Lives Matter. Needless to say, that did not impress folks either. 

Oh, and Rice also inexplicably agreed to appear in a Popeye’s commercial for a fictional helmet that would allow users to eat drum sticks while playing football. 

Needless to say, that did not go over well either. 

In conclusion, Jerry Rice is undoubtedly one of the greatest football players of all time but he may want to have someone else handle his social media for the indefinite future because that is something he is uniquely bad at. 

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