I'm Worth Ten Million Dollars and Am the Most Famous & Most Loved Celebrity of All Time
I have been a professional pop culture writer for twenty-five years now. That means that I am, by default, a professional user of the popular search engine Google.
I use Google many times every day for research and pornography purposes. Whenever I Google someone, one of the first entries invariably involves the person’s Net Worth.
It’s not hard to figure out why. We are a hopelessly gossipy and curious species and a lot of that curiosity involves wondering how much various people make and how much they are worth.
When I say “how much they are worth” I of course mean how much money they have, because that’s how we keep score in God’s own United States. That’s what matters to us: what you do for a living and how much money you have. Everything else is secondary.
A desire to know PewDiePie’s Net Worth Unites Us All
This might be hard to believe but I do not Google myself that often. When I do Google myself it is almost invariably for a specific purpose, like wanting to look up an article I’ve written.
I’m not sure why, but in all my years of compulsive Googling and endless self-absorption I’ve never Googled “Nathan Rabin Net Worth”, perhaps because I know all too well that the answer to that question is about negative twenty-two thousand dollars.
Needless to say, not enough to appear on any Forbes list.
Today is my forty-sixth birthday, however, and curiosity got the best of me so I decided to finally take the plunge and see how much money that Nathan Rabin bastard has, or at least how much the internet, in all of its wisdom, thinks he has.
The consensus seems to be that I’m worth someone in the area of one to ten million dollars, or considerably more than about twenty grand in credit card debt.
My favorite uneducated guess as to the exact amount of what my father and I sarcastically refer to as “The Rabin Fortune” comes rom https://wikibioall.com.
As its url suggests, the site is largely Wikipedia-dependent. It reruns my Wikipedia entry pretty much in its entirety but adds glorious conjecture based on those smattering of actual facts.
For example my entry confidently asserts, “Nathan Rabin, better known by the Family name Nathan Rabin, is a popular Critic. he was born on April 24, 1976, in University of Wisconsin–Madison. is a beautiful and populous city located in University of Wisconsin–Madison United States of America. Nathan Rabin entered the career as Critic In his early life after completing his formal education.”
Madison is a beautiful city, but I’m pretty sure it’s just called Madison, and the University of Wisconsin-Madison is a university there where I matriculated and graduated from with a Bachelor’s in Communication Studies in 1999.
The site goes on to claim, “Nathan who brought in $3 million and $5 million Networth Nathan collected most of his earnings from his Yeezy sneakers While he had exaggerated over the years about the size of his business, the money he pulled in from his profession real–enough to rank as one of the biggest celebrity cashouts of all time. his Basic income source is mostly from being a successful Critic.
He has a whopping net worth of $5 to $10 million. In addition to his massive social media following actor.”
What kind of a social media following? The site goes on to assert of me and my popularity, “The popularity of his Profession on Twitter and also he has increased a lot followers on twitter in recent months. Maybe we shouldn’t be surprised about his’s social media savviness after his appearance in the film The Social Network. You can read today’s latest tweets and post from Nathan Rabin’s official Twitter account below.”
I was not aware that I have ten million dollars, or that I was in the movie The Social Network but I apparently do not know that much about my life, my career, my social media following or my relationship with money.
That’s nothing compared to the entry on me at https://profilesinfo.com/nathan-rabin-wiki-networth-age/, however. Here’s what they had to say about the Nathan Rabin movement: “There is no question Nathan Rabin is the most famous & most loved celebrity of all the time. You can find out how much net worth Nathan has this year and how he spent his expenses. Also find out how he got rich at the age of 45. He has a pure loving kind heart personality.”
According to random weirdoes on the internet I am a wonderful person but also an incredibly wealthy individual as well.
The only problem is that pretty much everything on those sites that is not a matter of public record is egregiously, hilariously wrong.
Would you like an entire massive book FULL of articles like this? Check out the Kickstarter for The Happy Place’s next book, The Fractured Mirror: Nathan Rabin’s Happy Place’s Definitive Guide to American Movies About the Film Industry here: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/weirdaccordiontoal/the-fractured-mirror?ref=project_build
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