Working on The Fractured Mirror Book Has Reignited My Passion For Film
When people ask what I do for a living my wife almost invariably says that I am a professional film critic. That in turn causes me to clarify that I am not, in fact, a professional film critic.
For me, being a film critic means reviewing new movies when they come out for a professional outlet, belonging to a critic’s organization and diligently making year-end lists with the assistance of a blizzard of screeners and links.
For eighteen years that was my life and my job. That ended dramatically and abruptly when I was let go from The Dissolve in late April, 2015. I was hurting so I figured I would take a few months off and when I was feeling stronger I would go about trying to rebuild my career as a film critic.
That never happened. While I got plenty of offers to write columns that were eventually cancelled, the most I could muster freelance wise was reviewing a handful of movies for The A.V Club and The Globe and Mail. For months afterwards I diligently asked my editors there if there was anything they wanted me to review and they said that there was not. Eventually I took the hint and stopped asking and while the rational, unemotional side of me understood that I was no longer a film critic because I did not make more than a token effort to secure employment as a movie reviewer on a full-time or even freelance basis, the irrational, emotional side of me couldn’t help but feel rejected by film criticism as a whole.
For eighteen years, being a film critic was my life. Then it became something that I used to do. It became a part of my past rather than my future.
On some level I found that freeing. I could do things my own way, which largely entails smoking weed and then watching weird movies in my bedroom.
That’s how I’m writing The Fractured Mirror and it suits me just fine. As with The Weird Accordion to Al and The Joy of Trash, I initially saw a Fractured Mirror book as the best, most feasible literary project for me at the moment.
But as I worked on The Fractured Mirror book something wonderful and not entirely unexpected happened: I fell in love with it. It stopped being the strongest option at the time and became a book that I HAVE to write, that speaks to something deep inside of me.
That something, I believe, is a soul-consuming, life-transforming passion for movies. That’s what got me through a Dickensian childhood and it’s what is getting me through an unusually brutal adulthood.
I’ve rediscovered the joy of popcorn escapism even when that escape also happens to be my job. I’m not just writing a MASSIVE book about movies: I’m writing a massive book about movies about movies. I’m writing about HOLLYWOOD and MOVIE STARS and BEVERLY HILLS and CAPITALISM and NARCISSISM and EGO and INSANITY.
In other words I am writing a VERY American book about God’s own United States. And I’m loving it.
Writing The Fractured Mirror has reconnected me with my fierce passion for film. Reading it might have the same effect on you so I encourage y’all to join this magnificent journey by pre-ordering The Fractured Mirror at https://the-fractured-mirror.backerkit.com/hosted_preorders
You won’t regret it!
Pre-order The Fractured Mirror, the Happy Place’s next book, a 600 page magnum opus about American films about American films, illustrated by the great Felipe Sobreiro over at Make it happen over at https://the-fractured-mirror.backerkit.com/hosted_preorders
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