Actually, Nick Adams, the Left Doesn't Give a Fuck About ANY of the Things You Think It Hates
Christians? In Sports? That’s unpossible!
Sometime around Super Bowl Sunday, which I understand is a big deal for you Americans, some right-wing goober tweeted that the 2023 Super Bowl, astonishingly, featured two openly CHRISTIAN quarterbacks, something that the Left was obviously losing their fucking MINDS over.
I honestly would be surprised if there was a Super Bowl that DIDN’T have big-time bible thumpers facing off against one another in pursuit of the all-important Stanley Cup. Christianity is, after all, a pretty popular religion in the United States.
I don’t pay as much attention to sports as I did when I was young and in thrall to the 1985 Chicago Bears, who were equally skilled at playing football and rapping, but I don’t remember many Super Bowls that pitted Orthodox Jewish quarterbacks against quarterbacks who worshipped Satan.
I grew up seeing professional football as only slightly more progressive than the Marine corps, police force and country music establishment. Athletes who thank God for playoff victories and wore comically oversized gold crosses were a groaning stereotype/cliche.
No!!!! Not blue cheese dressing and ketchup! Anything but that!
Then Colin Kaepernick took a knee during the National Anthem to protest police brutality and the NFL merely blackballed him rather than having him shot on sight and Conservatives became convinced that an organization where billionaires exploit millionaires for the sake of selling commercials and filling stadiums was an aggregation of America-hating Commies out to destroy our country on behalf of their Bolshevik masters.
But it isn’t just the NFL. According to the loonies on the right, EVERY sport is now a haven for far-left radicals of all stripes.
I am on the Left and I can say, in all honesty, that there are few things in the world that matter to me less than the religions of Super Bowl quarterbacks. I don’t care! I REALLY don’t care! The idea that I, or anyone else on the Left, is seething with rage because professional athletes are vocal about how much they love Jesus and reading the bibles their mothers gave them is ridiculous.
But folks on the right desperately need to believe that Liberals are perpetually apoplectic over Conservatives being all white and straight and loving guns and bacon and shit.
I’m in a lot of bad memes groups, because I’m obviously NOT wasting a big chunk of my life, so I see that meme of a painting of a white, straight 1950s family with Ben Garrison-style labels documenting every last element of the wholesome tableau that those crazy Leftists hate.
These include whiteness, heterosexuality, Christianity, guns, meat consumption and not being trans or non-binary.
You see a variation on this trope online as well with pictures of white families brandishing machine guns, eating bacon, praying to Jesus and rocking out to Ted Nugent all at the same time accompanied by a smug assertion that what we’re seeing is blowing the Left’s mind and filling them with rage.
Not surprisingly, my muse Nick Adams (Alpha Male) has made a Hooters-ready meal of this idiotic, disingenuous trope.
Adams’ beloved Hooters makes it into at least one of his “The left hates this” tweets. On January 16th of this year,, the ostensible adult tweeted, “Throw away your M&Ms and Fortnite controllers in the TRASH. Pick up your bible and head to Hooters. The left hates this.”
I’m only vague aware of why the right despises a popular chocolate candy and video game, though I am amused by Adams picking up a bible and heading to Hooters for what sure sounds like an unusual bible study group.
I’m similarly amused by the idea of Conservatives buying things they hate solely for the purpose of performatively throwing them away.
You do realize that the M&Ms and Fortnite people get to keep the money you spent on their products, right?
In another Tweet Adams brags, “My alpha male Sunday: Breakfast. Mass. Foursome with the boys. Beef ribs courtesy of Mario. The left hates this.”
I’m not sure why Adams thinks the Left hates breakfast. Not only do I NOT hate breakfast but I think it’s the most important meal of the day.
If Adams wants to have four way sex with his guy friends, more power to him! Mazel Tov! That’s a little surprising given his passionate advocacy for Hooters but if he and the boys want to jerk each other off while eating Beef Ribs, I have no problem with that whatsoever.
Pose with guns! Read the Bible! Take pictures of your family duded out in patriotic garb and MAGA attire. I REALLY don’t give a shit. I’m too busy living my life and trying to provide for my family to care at all about meaningless bullshit like that.
Ironically, it’s the right that really DOES hate it when people on the left live their lives in a way that doesn’t hurt anyone. They are perpetually apoplectic about men in dresses and pronouns and M&M spokes-candies that are insufficiently sexy and feminine for their liking.
The right is once again projecting big time by pretending that the Left is obsessed with this nonsense when they’re the ones who take deep personal offense at things that affect them in no way at all.
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