Dammit, Lizzo, We Were Rooting for You!
Because I do not value my time I have wasted far too many hours hate-reading the comments on articles about pop star Lizzo. Lizzo’s existence as a large, confident black woman comfortable in her sexuality brought out the worst in an internet that’s not exactly a bastion of sensitivity and tact on its best days.
I was particularly apoplectic over the disconcertingly voluminous number of posts from commenters who professed not to have any idea who Lizzo was (which is odd, considering how famous and successful she is) but felt strongly that a woman her size should not be wearing revealing outfits.
I got angry at these people on Lizzo’s behalf. I liked Lizzo’s music because it’s catchy and fun and positive and her hooks are huge and irresistible. But I also liked what Lizzo represented.
In an ugly, hate-filled pop culture sphere Lizzo was a much needed blast of positivity and self-acceptance. She wasn’t about to let a world that hates women who do not conform to our culture’s impossible beauty standards keep her from living her best life and being her best, most authentic self.
Lizzo was winning while these anonymous creeps lazily hurled insults and mean-spirited jokes from the sidelines. The comments on these posts were a toxic combination of fat-shaming, racism and sexism. Some of these haters professed to be concerned about Lizzo’s health but most didn’t even pretend to hide their revulsion over a larger woman being overtly sexual.
These people were nothing but bullies, mean-spirited jackasses motivated by bigotry, jealousy and hatred.
I wanted to believe the best about Lizzo. I wanted to believe that her relentlessly positive public image reflected her true self, that she was the same person offstage as on.
If #MeToo has taught us anything, and I’d like to think that it has taught us a great deal, it’s that we should be skeptical of the flattering narratives put forth by famous people.
The fall of Ellen Degeneres and Rosie O’Donnell, meanwhile, taught us that celebrities who aggressively cultivate images as exemplars of niceness and positivity sometimes do so to cover a fundamental ugliness at their core.
Rosie was considered The Queen of Nice and Ellen was everybody’s smiling, dancing, upbeat pal. So it did tremendous damage to their careers and reputations when all sorts of stories came out suggesting that these powerful celebrities were actually much more complicated than their reputations would suggest.
We elevated Ellen and Rosie to giddy heights of fame and power, then took great delight in knocking them down.
So I probably should not have been terribly surprised when a lawsuit by Lizzo’s former dancers permanently and dramatically changed the way we see Lizzo for the worst.
The allegations in the lawsuit depict Lizzo as a bully and a hypocrite. The gulf between Lizzo’s sunny public image and the cruel, sadistic woman described in the lawsuit could not be more vast or disheartening.
The allegations were so lurid, so extensive and damning that I hoped that they couldn’t possibly be true but I also couldn’t help but notice that in the aftermath of this potentially career-and-image-shattering lawsuit seemingly no one has stood up to defend Lizzo and plenty of people have come forward to say that their experiences with the four time Grammy winner were not dissimilar from those of the dancers who were suing her for egregious mistreatment and abuse.
I was particularly struck by the screaming hypocrisy of Lizzo being rightly cerebrated as an icon of fat acceptance while apparently terrorizing her dancers for gaining weight.
We probably shouldn’t be surprised when people internalize the sexism and fatphobia that surrounds them. Yet it still sucks when someone who seemingly represents everything that’s good and positive and loving turns out to be a much more troubling figure than they initially appeared.
It’s unfortunate that Lizzo could very well be closer in personality and disposition to the bullies, misogynists and fat-shamers that feel obligated to comment extensively on every article about Lizzo than the image she worked so hard to create but that fell apart seemingly overnight.
To put things in Tyra Banks terms, we were rooting for you, Lizzo! We believed in you! That’s why this hurts but it’s also a useful reminder that believing in anything or anyone almost invariably leads to heartbreak and disillusionment.
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