How Sydney Sweeney's Enormous Breasts Became the Subject of a Furious Tug of War Between the Left and the Right
A few years back, there was a ridiculous controversy involving Euphoria actress Sydney Sweeney’s pictures of her mother’s 60th birthday party. The event featured red baseball hats with the words “Make 60 Great Again” on them. Also, someone at the soiree wore a Blue Lives Matter t-shirt.
The world being what it is, this exploded into a nonsensical kerfluffle. Are Sydney Sweeney’s relatives Trump supporters? Were they leading the charge at the Capitol on January 6th? Do they pray every night to an effigy of Rudy Giuliani?
Would Sydney Sweeney apologize publicly for the fact that everyone in her family is clearly a Nazi and would love to go on a kissing date with Donald Trump if possible, or would she, by her cowardly silence, agitate passionately on behalf of the disgraced, twice-impeached ex-president?
Granted, it is incredibly embarrassing that ANYBODY voted for a man whose Easter message to the world, via Truth Social was,
“HAPPY EASTER TO ALL, INCLUDING CROOKED AND CORRUPT PROSECUTORS AND JUDGES THAT ARE DOING EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO INTERFERE WITH THE PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION OF 2024, AND PUT ME IN PRISON, INCLUDING THOSE MANY PEOPLE THAT I COMPLETELY & TOTALLY DESPISE BECAUSE THEY WANT TO DESTROY AMERICA, A NOW FAILING NATION, LIKE “DERANGED” JACK SMITH, WHO IS EVIL AND “SICK,” MRS. FANI “FAUNI” WADE, WHO SAID SHE HARDLY KNEW THE “SPECIAL” PROSECUTOR, ONLY TO FIND THAT HE SPENT YEARS “LOVING” HER, LONG BEFORE THE GEORGIA PERSECUTION OF PRESIDENT TRUMP BEGAN (AND THEREBY MAKING THE CASE AGAINST ME NULL, VOID, AND ILLEGAL!), AND LAZY ON VIOLENT CRIME ALVIN BRAGG WHO, WITH CROOKED JOE’S DOJ THUGS, UNFAIRLY WORKING IN THE D.A.’s OFFICE, ILLEGALLY INDICTED ME ON A CASE HE NEVER WANTED TO BRING AND VIRTUALLY ALL LEGAL SCHOLARS SAY IS A CASE THAT SHOULD NOT BE BROUGHT, IS BREAKING THE LAW IN DOING SO (POMERANTZ!), WAS TURNED DOWN BY ALL OTHER LAW ENFORCEMENT AUTHORITIES, AND IS NOT A CRIME. HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!”
If your uncle posted something like this on his Facebook wall everyone would understand that he's mentally ill and has a bad relationship with reality and politely ignore him.
Donald Trump posts this, and 74 million people vote to make him the most powerful man in the world FOR A SECOND TIME!
Did some of Sweeney’s relatives vote for Trump? Probably. Seventy-four million people voted for Donald Trump, and they’re not all Marjorie Taylor Greene or the Q Shaman.
Does it matter that Sweeney’s great-aunt might have voted for the Republican candidate for president in 2016 and 2020? No, it does not. Should Sweeney have to apologize for her relatives’ possible support for Donald Trump? No, she should not.
The actress responded diplomatically with a tweet reading, “You guys, this is wild. An innocent celebration for my mom’s milestone 60th birthday has turned into an absurd political statement, which was not the intention. Please stop making assumptions. Much love to everyone, and Happy Birthday, Mom!”
Sweeney later pointed out that many of the people in the photos weren’t even relatives but rather her mother’s friends from Los Angeles.
After hosting Saturday Night Live, Sweeney once again became regrettably and nonsensically associated with Conservatives and the Alt-Right when a doofus named Richard Hanania posted a clip of the actress looking busty in a low-cut shirt beneath the words, “Wokeness is dead.”
One of the many criticisms of “Wokeness” as an ideology is that it’s supposed to pretend that bodies and faces that are not, and have not, been considered conventionally attractive are, in fact, beautiful and desirable, while bodies and faces that are, and have always been, considered conventionally attractive should be shunned because they promote impossible beauty standards.
It is true that until fairly recently, the media and corporations had no problem whatsoever promoting impossible beauty standards and eating disorders but the whole idea of body positivity is to celebrate every body, including Sydney Sweeney’s.
Conservatives, I can assure you that no one on the Left is angry that a conventionally attractive woman with disproportionately large breasts is being recognized for being a conventionally attractive woman with disproportionately large breasts.
The idea that progressives are somehow anti-large-breasts is so ridiculous and transparently false that it’d make Roger Ebert spin in his grave.
Nobody is mad at Sydney Sweeney’s breasts or her decision to showcase them during her time at Saturday Night Live, but the right needs to believe that things are so crazy under the Woke Thought Police that women are told that they must look like Lizzo and if they resemble Sydney Sweeney they should hide away in shame.
The right has been quick to claim Sydney Sweeney and every other actor or actress who still has a career, but she made a not-so-subtle political statement of her own by not only starring in but also producing Immaculate, a Nunsploitation horror movie that has been criticized by some on the right as heretical and anti-Catholic.
Immaculate really leaned into the controversy, prominently promoting a tweet complaining, “Libs saw how the anti-woke crowd embraced Sydney Sweeney as their new darling and right away had to shove her in this blasphemous, satanic, feminist, pro-abortion, anti-life movie degrading Christians. This movie also debases Mary, mother of Christ!”
The studio behind Immaculate even lowered prices to 6.66 for one very special day for extra provocation.
By very deliberately making a blasphemous, satanic, feminist, pro-abortion, anti-life movie degrading Christians, Sweeney was claiming agency over her body, her mind, and her image. She wasn’t letting other people interpret what her body and image meant; she was in control, and Conservatives have historically had a very hard time with the idea that women should have complete control over their bodies, not men or the state, though they are generally very chill about possible sacrilege in entertainment.
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