I Stopped Drinking Alcohol and Smoking Pot and So Can You!
I am a creature of habit. For the last thirty years or so, one of my most consistent, if least healthy, habits involved having at least one alcoholic beverage per night and smoking pot to help me with my insomnia after nine o’clock.
My undiagnosed autism craved ritual and repetition. Nothing pleases the autistic mind quite like doing the same thing over and over again for decades. My bipolar 2 and ADHD, meanwhile, caused me to be perpetually on the lookout for sweet, sweet dopamine hits because my frazzled brain did not make enough on its own.
According to a scary statistic on Wikipedia, “For BP-II, the most conservative estimate of lifetime prevalence of alcohol or other substance use disorders is 20%.”
That is not good! People with just ONE of my many debilitating conditions have a one in five chance of getting hooked on the sauce or strung out on Screaming Meanies and Black Beauties.
I’m guessing that that is way more than the general population.
I liked the feeling of being high, but I also liked the physical act of smoking. I liked the ritual. I liked taking my pipe apart and cleaning it after every use. I enjoyed the feeling of smoke filling my lungs. I liked blowing out smoke. I liked smoking a bowl while I walked my dog.
Smoking helped me sleep, and it helped with anxiety, or at least I deluded myself into thinking that it did. I remember telling my doctor that smoking pot helped with anxiety, and she asked pointedly, “Does it, though?”
She had a point. Marijuana was doing a very bad job with my anxiety because I perpetually felt on the verge of a panic attack or nervous breakdown.
So, when I had the consultation for my dental implants and was told that I would need to stop smoking, I was less than enthused.
“Does that mean I can only smoke sometimes? Or every once in a while?” I asked hopefully. The answer was no. To ensure that my dental implants work as well as possible, I had to give up smoking cold turkey.
I can never smoke again. I’m okay with that.
I wasn’t getting much from alcohol or smoking marijuana. My tolerance was so high that I never got tipsy, let alone drunk. Then again, I did not consume one screwdriver made with Tito’s vodka to get wasted. I did it because it was what I always did after five o’clock, and I had no good reason to change that.
When I had dental implant surgery around three months ago, I saw it as an opportunity to change my life and develop healthier habits. I’ll always crave ritual and routine, but I can substitute good habits for bad ones.
I’ve had two drinks in the least three months, both at concerts. I am not terribly social. So, I was not one for social drinking. I drank by myself, so it was closer to anti-social drinking.
I thought that I would miss alcohol. I thought I’d crave it. But I haven’t. I haven’t missed it at all. In fact I quite like not drinking alcohol. I feel like my complexion and overall health and appearance have improved since I decided to lay off the sauce.
I similarly feared that giving up smoking pot completely would play havoc with my fragile psyche. I worried that I would stay awake all night obsessing about everything and desperately yearning to resume a habit I’d had my entire adulthood.
I’m pleased to report that that didn’t happen either. I’m not completely sober. I’ve been exploring the wonderful world of edibles since my surgery but it feels damn good to have the self-restraint to say no to vices I’ve had since I was a college kid fresh out of a group home.
It turns out that I am stronger and more disciplined than I thought I was. It turns out that I can give up drinking and smoking pot completely and that, in a shocking turn of events, I actually feel better and am healthier.
I’m proud of who I’ve become over the past three months. I don’t want to go back to where I was.
I will never smoke again. I can’t. I won’t. There’s nothing wrong with having a drink every few months, but I kind of like being able to say, “I don’t drink.”
I understand now why people give up alcohol. I don’t need to drink booze. More surprisingly, I don’t want to drink alcohol. I recently had a mocktail and was pleased that I enjoyed drinking something that tasted good versus something that tasted okay because of the vodka in it.
Will that change? I don’t know, but I’m writing this blog post in part to hold myself accountable and remind myself that I can outgrow and overcome bad habits and be a better, healthier version of myself for my family, my readers, and the world.
Nathan needs teeth that work, and his dental plan doesn't cover them, so he started a GoFundMe at https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-nathans-journey-to-dental-implants. Give if you can!
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