David Bowie is gorgeous and magnetic in a flashy cameo in the underwhelming 1985 John Landis romantic action-comedy Into the Night, yet another potentially great film undone by yet another goddamn jewel smuggling subplot.
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With Bill Maher once again making headlines for saying some stupid, bigoted shit, now seems like a perfect time to re-run his little-loved film vehicle Pizza Man. Before he cast sour judgment on the work of Stan Lee, Bill Maher proved his intellectual bona fides playing a wisecracking pizza delivery man opposite a battery of bad celebrity impersonators, including a faux-Donald Trump, in the painfully dated 1991 low-budget romp Pizza Man.
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One of you kind souls paid for me to watch and write about this enjoyably ridiculous, wonderfully stupid movie for a friend. The word “hero” gets thrown around too much, but that man is a true hero.
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One of y’all paid me a cool one hundred dollars to experience the 1977 Japanese cult classic that redefines the phrase “Next level bonkers”
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One of you generous fucks inexplicably paid me a hundred dollars to watch Police Academy 3: Back in Training. So I did!
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One of you generous weirdoes paid me a cool C-note to watch the ridiculous BMX exploitation movie Rad, which introduced me to the concept of “bicycle boogieing.” My life, and yours, will never be the same.
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In his first lead role since The Man Who Fell to Earth, David Bowie played a male prostitute in the staggeringly awful 1978 anti-war comedy Just a Gigolo, a terrible waste of Bowie’s talents and those of Marlene Dietrich, in her first role since 1964.
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One of you kind souls paid me 100 dollars to see a 3-D, soft-core invisibility action-comedy starring Steve Guttenberg that fucking sucks.
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One of you kind weirdoes paid me one hundred dollars to see C Me Dance, a hilariously bad Christian movie about a fatally ill teenage girl with a special gift: bringing people to Christ just by touching them. Or living in the same country. It gets a little confused.
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Sam Peckinpah’s gloriously checkered career as a filmmaker ended with a convoluted but reasonably engaging adaptation of a Robert Ludlam novel featuring a murderer’s row of great character actors, including Burt Lancaster, Rutger Hauer, John Hurt, Dennis Hopper, Chris Sarandon and an exquisitely mustached Craig T. Nelson.
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