No, Clint Eastwood Isn't Endorsing Boner Pills: The Weird World of Fake Online Celeb Testimonials

Sounds like he went ahead and made his wife’s day! #Laffs #jokes #fun

If you’ve spent a lot of time online, as I have, you’ve probably run across a particularly sordid, fascinating subset of the “Fake News” pseudo-industry: suspiciously identical-seeming advertorial articles detailing how an insanely famous person went on TV to discuss a breakthrough anti-aging cream they’re discovered, or a revolutionary new erectile dysfunction treatment, or a legal steroid substitute so incredible that they feel the need to share their miraculous find with a grateful world regardless of the consequences. 

To cite a typical example, an article entitled Hollywood SuperStar. Clint Eastwood Opens Up About Erectile Dysfunction Supplements” contains the following passage: "I came across a TV Show with the famous couple Christina Sandera and Clint Eastwood, doing an interview where they said, behind the scenes, how they had similar problems with ED and that they had taken Dr. OZ’s recommendations for Alpha F1 that had cured Clint’s ED permanently. He also mentioned to them that any man can perform for up to 2 hours and over with these pills.”

Clint Eastwood is many things. An American icon. An Academy Award winning auteur. A movie star for the ages. He is not, however, a dude who goes on television to discuss the incredible boner pills he’s been taking and how they make his rod rock-hard for hours at a time. That would be, needless to say, very out of character for Eastwood. With the exception of that nonsense where he rambled at an empty chair he pretended was President Obama, the man generally comports himself with a little dignity. 

Not in the crazy, make-pretend world of boner pill fake advertorials, however. He’s not the only one. In my favorite variation on this theme, a celebrity will get into trouble for endorsing these wonder-products because they work just too goddamn well. 

Sounds like Tim’s “Tool” is working right ALL the time! #additionallaffs #evenmorejokes #Andmorefuntoboot

“Was Tim Allen Fired After Shocking On-Air Confession to Megan Kelly About Erectile Dysfunction Pills?” provocatively asks another article on the same mind-blowing site, then answers affirmatively: “Tim, 64, who is better known for his TV role as Tim “The Toolman” Taylor on the television show Home Improvement, revealed that he thinks ABC canned him over some questionable comments made during his Megyn Kelly interview.

Allen went off script last week during the interview and revealed intimate details about his struggle with ED and eventual cure. Megyn Kelly explained her position: “I just think there’s a time and place for those types of discussions but my show isn’t one of them.”

Tim Allen's wife, Jane Hajduk, didn't think there was anything wrong with the interview. Prior to Tim's interview, they celebrated their 10th anniversary, and Jane talked in an exclusive interview about their marriage. She spoke about many difficult moments they had and she also revealed the mystery about  Tim Allen erectile dysfunction problem. She also told to the cameras how they found some EXTREMELY effective ED pills that helped him overcome the problem really fast.

Since Tim Allen started using every day, he just can't get enough. He might be famous, but EVEN BETTER – now doesn’t have to worry about his erectile dysfunction.”

You know who else doesn’t have to worry about erectile dysfunction anymore? Chuck Norris. According to a very legitimate-seeming article on www.patienthelp.org, “Sources say that Chuck may be one of the millions of older men who suffers from erectile dysfunction. These sources also say that Chuck may have already found the cure for this condition! Apparently, he could be using a brand-new male enhancement pill to treat the ED. There’s no confirmation of this story, but it looks like this erectile dysfunction supplement is very real! There are endless customer reviews claiming that it completely cured their ED!” 

These articles all read pretty much the same. Many feature first-person testimonials from the faux-advertorial writer all about how their boyfriend can’t get an erection and it made them both miserable until they ran across a television interview in which a famous person spilled the beans on a boner pill that will change sex forever, and for the better. 

I like to imagine Clint Eastwood web-surfing. That alone amuses me but the idea of him encountering an article about him going on television to talk about his ancient penis roaring back to life thanks to innovations in boner pill science and being very, very confused delights me to no end. 

These ridiculous articles exist for a reason. They must have fooled someone. But unlike other fake ads and other cynical exercises in fake news and disinformation, these ads at least did not contribute to Donald Trump getting elected, so they’ve at least got that going for them. They may be dishonest. They may be stupid. They may be incredibly easy to see through but they’re not as evil or as malevolent as they could be, which, sadly, counts for an awful lot when you’re dealing with the ugly, mercenary world of the internet. 

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