Enjoy the Final Weeks of American Capitalism, Fools!

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It’s adorable how unprepared the American populace is for what is about to happen. Just because Joe Biden has been an elected official for nearly a half century, eight of those as the Vice President of our first African-American president, Americans foolishly think they know Biden, his worldview and his policies. 

What fools! They could not be more wrong. Throughout his career Biden has cunningly masqueraded as a centrist Democrat with some decidedly Conservative ideas about crime and other important issues. He has pretended to be a safe, predictable, even boring figure of the political mainstream, a much-needed uniter after the violent, chaotic divisiveness of the Trump years. 

Biden has done a lot of pretending over the course of his life and career. He’s very wily that way. But all of that pretending is about to stop because the real Biden, as Republicans, particularly Trump, have desperately tried to warn us, is a hardcore, molotov cocktail-throwing Bolshevik who will implement a new era of Communism in our country. 

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Rumor has it that during his inauguration speech Biden will announce, “A dirty capitalist named Donald Trump gave me a nickname: Sleepy Joe. He thought that was funny. They used to call me Sleepy Joe, but from this moment forward I will be known by a new name: Uncle Joe Stalin, in honor of my biggest political hero and role model” and then walk through the crowd with a devilish grin on his face, gleefully snatching diamond necklaces and rings from horrified supporters and happily explaining, “This now belongs to the State. Everything does now!”

On his second day in office, Biden will sign an executive order changing our nation’s name from The United States of America to The Communist States of AmeriKKKa. On day three he will soberly inform a horrified nation that Jill Biden will be executed as an Enemy of the People for acquiring a decadent Doctorate in education to clear the way for AOC to be named his new Communist queen. That’s right: Biden will transform our country into a Communist monarchy/dictatorship, with himself as the all-powerful, unquestioned leader. Then Biden will insist on being called “Vanguard” and begin building an outsized harem of sex slaves comprised of the wives of his enemies, including Melania Trump. 

How foolish all these Hollywood leftists will feel for supporting a dangerous, anti-American extremist like Joe Biden after he outlaws the concept of private property and private land and transforms their sprawling mansions into re-education camps where the moneyed elite are tortured and abused by members of Black Lives Matter and Antifa, who will replace the police and the military.  

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Heterosexuality and Christianity will both be outlawed. The Constitution will be replaced by a well-worn copy of The Communist Manifesto. The stars and stripes will give way to the good old hammer and sickle before Biden has been in office even a month. 

EVERYTHING is about to change! The United States as we know it is about to become a fuzzy, distant memory. In a mere matter of days our country will be unrecognizable. 

If only you fools had listened to Trump and his warnings about the dangerous extremism of Joe Biden and the Democratic Party! You would have known what you were in for. 

We’re about to experience a period of violent political upheaval that will make the Khmer Rouge and the Great Leap Forward look like Taco Tuesdays at Mar-A-Lago by comparison. 

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Trump tried to warn you but you foolishly dismissed him as a hysteric. You have only yourself to blame for what is about to happen. 

May God have mercy on us all. We’re going to need it.  

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