"Mini" Mike Bloomberg, "Little" Marcio Rubio and the Innate Masochism of Being a Trump Supporter

If I were running for president of the United States in what is LITERALLY the biggest popularity contest in the world, I would go out of my way to avoid insulting huge demographics for no good reason whatsoever. 

Donald Trump feels differently. As part of his ongoing, freakishly successful bid to insult seemingly everyone in the world Trump has referred to New York billionaire and fellow horrible human being Mike Bloomberg as “Mini” Mike Bloomberg on Twitter and in real life, just as he mocked Republican rival Marco Rubio as “Little” Marco Rubio during the campaign for the 2016 Republican presidential nomination. 

If I were Republican under five six I would feel deeply insulted that the president of the United States and a man ostensibly seeking my vote would broadcast to the world that he thought that being small makes you weak and effeminate, and consequently a deserving target for ridicule. 

Then again, I’m sure many short Republicans probably also held the late John McCain in high regard, what with him being one of the most beloved and respected American politicians of his time, and all time. Yet McCain fans overwhelmingly chose to support a racist man-child who made fun of McCain for getting captured and then tortured for years in a POW camp and then joked hilariously about McCain broasting in hell for eternity.

Being a Republican in the era of Trump entails a certain innate masochism because Trump swings so wildly, and so erratically, and in so many directions simultaneously that he’s bound to end up connecting with a good number of his followers and ardent supporters as well as his enemies with each punch. 

Trump is the Tony Clifton of American politics. He’s an insult comedian who often forgets the jokes and doubles down on the insults, the crasser and more personal the better. His fans legitimately seem to see Trump as a cathartic and liberating figure fighting a never-ending total war against the phony forces of propriety and politeness, not a pudding-headed bully and poster boy for Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 

When, during the 2016, Trump said that “political correctness” was our country’s biggest problem, and that he was running against political correctness, as well as the media, he was announcing that the biggest threat to our country’s future was people thinking about how their actions and words might affect others before speaking or acting and that he personally, on principle, would NEVER think about the consequences of his words or actions.

Trump was essentially promising that he would never think about whether what he was saying was racist, or sexist, or homophobic, or blatantly ignorant and false; he would talk without thinking, and act without thinking and never apologize for anything he said no matter how hideous or transparently reprehensible. His super-fans saw this as unimpeachable authenticity; unlike politicians who carefully weigh their words and actions, Trump would just act, and act impulsively.

Can you ask for anything more from the leader of the free world? 

When Trump vowed to Make America Great Again he was, in a very unsubtle way bragging that the conventional hierarchies that have ruled American life for centuries would once again be rigidly enforced.  Trump insisted that “the people” need never feel ashamed or guilty or wrong for thinking that white is better than black, light skin is better than dark skin, male is better than female, straight is better than gay, Christian is better than Muslim, thin is better than overweight, cis-het is better than trans, American is better than non-American, and, lastly, that tall is better than short. 

There is a reactionary army seemingly willing to wage another civil war, or at the very least base their identity on their support for a dangerous lunatic, to enforce this hierarchy as a natural order whose truth and rightness is self-evident. 

Besides, if someone doesn’t consider birtherism, “Grab em by the pussy”, mocking the disabled and telling women of color to go back to the shithole countries they came from to be deal-breakers then I doubt making fun of rivals for being short would do the trick. 

Short men have to live a culture that considers them inherently inferior to tall men like Trump or myself. Life is easier for me because I am tall, in much the same way that I benefit from being white, male and heterosexual. Of course I did not DO anything to become tall. It’s a fluke of biology but that does not keep men like Trump from thinking of it as a great strength and not a random quirk of fate. Sadly, they’re probably not wrong; we tend to elect tall men in a wildly disproportionate fashion (the average president is 5’11, or just under a solid six feet tall); being short probably would have been a major weakness had Bloomberg gotten the nomination.

Trump isn’t creating the dichotomy where tall is good and short is shameful and bad; he’s merely reinforcing it through bullying and hatred, the same way he’s reinforcing so many of the prejudices and pre-conceptions it appears our country hasn’t exactly worked through or overcome after all. 

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