Donald Trump and the Biggest Participation Trophy in the History of the Universe
Damn! What a stupid cartoon!
Conservatives love to bitch and moan about the insidious effect of millennials being hopelessly corrupted by the participation trophies they received as impressionable children. In the right-wing brain, these seemingly harmless awards for showing up and doing your best aren’t harmless at all but rather deeply harmful, even dangerous on an individual and collective level.
In this line of thinking, participation trophies are an unforgivable crime against the American cult of competition and individualism that make young people entitled, coddled and weak by teaching the character-destroying lesson that it’s enough to show up and have fun rather than prove your worth by destroying your opponents.
This Conservative scapegoating of participation trophy ties into a greater right-wing concern that if people are given things they did not earn by virtue of hard work, being the best and defeating everyone else they’ll become lazy and reliant upon handouts.
By this same reasoning, if you give people free education, or universal healthcare, or a living wage then they won’t want to work hard or innovate or create the Apples and Amazons of the future because they are decadently having their basic needs met.
This extends to safe spaces, content warnings, political correctness, affirmative action and other forms of basic decency and consideration. All are reviled by the “Fuck your feelings” crowd as Commie tools to mollycoddle young people into a state of total dependency on big government.
Given the outsized place participation trophies play in the Conservative mindset as mankind’s greatest evil I can’t help but notice the exquisite irony of Donald Trump, Mr. Politically Incorrect, loudly and publicly agitating for the biggest participation trophy in the form of a second term as President.
You see, Donald Trump participated in the 2020 presidential election, and even though he did not get enough electoral votes to win he got a lot of votes, infinitely more than he deserves, and consequently feels entitled to remain the president until 2024.
Needles to say, Trump’s participation trophy will be much bigger and shinier. It will be YUGE!
Of course Trump angrily insists that he did NOT lose the election. Trump is delusional enough to think that after getting impeached, degrading democracy on a daily basis and mismanaging COVID-19 so badly that literally hundreds of thousands of people died unnecessarily he not only won but won in what he has laughably described as a “sacred landslide victory.”
But Trump and his cult have repeatedly insisted that even if Trump didn’t, you know, actually win the election, the 75 million votes he received entitle him to the biggest, shiniest participation trophies around.
Even fictional characters know participation trophies are responsible for all of society’s problems!
That Biden received eighty million votes in the general election and 302 electoral votes to Trump’s 232 does not seem to matter to these folks. All they care about is that 75 million votes is a lot, particularly considering what a terrible job Trump did as president, and consequently they feel entitled to all of the participation trophies in the world.
The Trump brigade thinks that 75 million votes entitles them to storm the capitol. They think 75 million votes entitles them to an endless series of legal challenges, audits and re-certification upon re-certification. They think 75 million votes means that continuously disproven allegations of voter fraud and electoral malfeasance should be taken seriously and endlessly investigated instead of being treated as what they obviously are, debunked conspiracy theories from desperate, doomed partisan extremists.
They furthermore think that 75 million votes means that EVERYONE should take them seriously and respect them. These precious little snowflakes think that Trump’s vote count means that he and his hideous family should control the Republican party indefinitely.
As Trump bragged in one of his final Tweets, “The 75,000,000 great American Patriots who voted for me, AMERICA FIRST, and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN, will have a GIANT VOICE long into the future. They will not be disrespected or treated unfairly in any way, shape or form!!!”
That GIANT VOICE looks an awful lot like a participation trophy to me, but at this point MAGA chuds will happily take any old scrap of consolation.
These deluded fucks think that Democrats and Republicans alike should tremble before the awesome power and moral rightness of people who think that Tom Hanks worships Satan and eats babies after defiling them sexually and that Donald Trump is the greatest force for good since Jesus Christ.
With all due respect I say to these whiny, self-pitying little crybabies fuck your participation trophies, fuck Donald Trump and finally, fuck your feelings. You lost, bitch, and then entitles you and your followers to NOTHING.
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