The Q-Themed Podcast QAnon Anonymous Is My Favorite Thing Right Now
I’ve known about the Qanon Anonymous podcast for a few years now, yet until a few weeks ago, I had never listened to it despite being fascinated by everything Q. I’m not sure why. It might be because the podcast’s subject fell outside my comfort zone of true crime, bad movie, and comedy podcasts.
Or at least that’s what I thought before I began a deep dive that will not end until I have listened to all the episodes, including the premium ones. In actuality, QAnon Anonymous is pretty freaking hilarious. Or it was until November 6th. I suddenly find Trump’s most deluded cultists terrifying instead of funny.
The hosts understand the surreal absurdity of the Q movement and its delusions about a secret war between Donald Trump and a sinister cabal of pedophilic, cannibalistic Democratic and Hollywood elites who collect the sweet, sweet Adrenochrome released by the children that they eat and rape because it is the most powerful and Satanic drug known to man.
But they also understand that there’s something fundamentally sad, even tragic, about the bizarrely deathless movement. The Q army is largely composed of lost souls and spiritual seekers who have found something in the movement that gives their lives meaning and purpose.
In a scary and uncertain world, being part of the Q movement can provide a sense of belonging, community, and purpose. Who doesn’t want that? Q gives cultists something bigger than themselves to believe in and devote their lives to.
QAnon Anonymous laughs at the surreal idiocy of a movement that sees the worst, most selfish man in the world as a selfless savior of the innocent and vulnerable, but there’s a core of empathy that keeps things from getting too mean-spirited.
Q is unintentionally hilarious, in part because the movement has no sense of humor about itself or a sense of its own ridiculousness. I’ve always been fascinated by narcissists who have no idea of their own absurdity or how the world sees them.
QAnon Anonymous may not technically be a comedy podcast but it is nevertheless very funny. It’s similarly not a true crime podcast but the Q movement is full of grifters, flim flam men and other criminal opportunists who exploit the gullibility of cultists who will believe anything that fits their worldview, preposterous as it might be.
Logic would seem to dictate that cultists would lose faith in “The Plan” after literally none of Q’s assertions came to pass. But Q isn’t about logic. It’s not about reason. It is, instead, about faith. It isn’t just about faith; it’s about blind faith. At this point, Q isn’t a fringe political movement that stubbornly refuses to go away; it’s a religion, with Trump as its God and red-pilled interpreters of Q drops as prophets/acolytes. In Ashli Babbitt, the Q true believer who was killed storming the capitol on January 6th, it had its first martyr/saint.
Q will outlive Donald Trump the way Christianity did Jesus’ unfortunate passing. The Q faithful already see Trump as something more than human, as a powerful force for good in the universe.
When he dies, they’ll tell themselves that he fought a heroic, brave war to save the children from the cabal, but the globalist brigade of child-raping, child-eating Deep State Satanists were ultimately just too damn powerful for even a force as magnificent as Trump.
Alternately, they’ll believe that Trump merely faked his death to fool the cabal and allow him to fight its evil even more effectively. In a world of clones, secret prisons, and furtive wars for humanity’s soul, death is an obstacle but not an insurmountable one.
Though Trump has never delighted the Q faithful by saying “I am the Storm” or “The Storm is Upon us” he’s embraced Q over the past four years as a way to gin up his base and convince his most intense supporters that he’s on their side.
Trump has empowered Q by constantly spouting wild conspiracy theories that flatter him and condemn his enemies. Trump’s contention that he’s being unfairly persecuted by the Deep State that will do anything to bring him down, including weaponizing the justice department to stop him and his movement, feeds into Q’s sense of persecution.
Trump speaks almost exclusively in wild generalities. For Trump, moral ambiguity does not exist. There are no shades of grey with him. Take the kerfluffle in Springfield, Ohio, for example. To Trump, the town must have been an all-American paradise, a Midwestern Mayberry full of wholesome dads in cardigans and moms in aprons happily attending to the needs of her brood. Then, the evil black people from Haiti came in and instantly transformed heaven into hell. A dewy Utopia was instantly replaced by a dystopia where evil Haitians slit the throats of their neighbors and steal dogs and cats for the sake of eating them.
So it’s not exactly difficult to ascertain where Q might have gotten its vision of a world where Godly, Christ-fearing “White Hats”, who are nothing but heroic battle figures of pure evil who will stop at nothing to defeat him. Trump and his followers are inherently good; his enemies are evil, sick, and deranged. Also, they hate America.
There will be generations upon generations of Q true believers. Q cultists will brag about not only being at the Capitol on January 6th; they’ll also boast about being active participants in the insurrection that will go down in Q annals, not as a day of triumph. Now, Trump is going to pardon all the lunatics who rioted in his name. That’s fun!
Listening to QAnon Anonymous in its entirety, from its birth in 2019 to the present, provides a fascinating look at how the movement has mutated and grown over the past half-decade.
COVID breathed new life into Q by giving cultists a slew of evil, bad-faith actors to despise, most notably Dr. Anthony Fauci. You and I might look at Fauci and see a nice man who has devoted his life to public service and played a huge role in fighting the pandemic. To Q cultists, however, he was a Deep State villain and probably personally responsible for the spread of COVID-19, if not its invention.
The pandemic was catnip to conspiracists. It inflamed their already over-active imagination and gave them a whole new roster of villains to hate. Trump never went away. He was always there, lurking in the darkness.
Decades from now, second generation Q cultists will boast about fucking shit up on January 6th the same way hipsters brag about seeing The Velvet Underground or Big Star early in their career. It won’t be seen as a source of shame but rather a form of clout.
QAnon will never go away because it’s a smorgasbord of popular conspiracy theories that have been around for centuries. QAnon, in many ways, is just a newfangled version of Blood Libel, the notion that Jews killed Christian children in order to use their blood to make matzo for Passover.
It’s not a coincidence that Q decided that the cabal was dominated by the Hollywood establishment and Democratic Party bigwigs, two groups in which Jews are disproportionately resented. As is almost invariably the case, when people on the right complain about “elites,” “globalists,” or “the establishment,” they’re talking about Jews.
Q simply switched things up a little so that the elites (Jews) feast upon a powerful chemical released in the bodies of dying children instead of using Christian kiddie blood as an essential component of their Passover rituals. Needless to say, Jews never “pass over” an opportunity to murder Christian children, either for their sweet, sweet Adrenochrome or to make special matzo that will make them the hit of the seder.
QAnon Anonymous captures the vastness of Q and its infinite malevolent permutations, from Ben Garrison's crazed hero worship to the carnival of larger-than-life clowns who have attained the weirdest form of celebrity: being Q famous.
Listening to QAnon Anonymous is entertaining, but it’s also cathartic knowing that other people share your morbid fascination with the Trump cult and have made something useful, even essential, out of its free-floating insanity.
With Q, there’s no end to the rabbit hole. It’s easy to get lost. The same is true of QAnon Anonymous. It’s deep, dark, and hilarious.
Nathan needs teeth that work, and his dental plan doesn’t cover them, so he started a GoFundMe at https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-nathans-journey-to-dental-implants. Give if you can!
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