A Blog Post About How Much I Love My Wife, On Her Birthday
I don’t tell my wife that I love her very often. Instead, I try to show her that I love her through my actions. The depth and intensity of my affection are hopefully evident in the adoring way I look at her.
But it is my wife’s birthday today, so it feels like a good time to tell my wife just how much I love and appreciate her. While I’m at it, I might as well tell the world how crazy I am about my wife and how amazing she is.
I write a lot about my struggles and failures here, so it only seems right to write about my successes as well. I might struggle financially and professionally, but I enjoy what I like to think of as a wholly successful marriage to someone I could not be more crazy about.
My marriage and my children give me the strength to go on when things look helpless like they have for the last few weeks. That I am still relatively sane and productive is a testament to my wife and her preternatural strength and resolve.
A non-confusing shirt that totally makes sense.
My wife is the best thing that’s ever happened to me and the mother of the other two best things that have happened to me. She’s also the catalyst behind many of the best decisions I’ve ever made, from moving to Atlanta from Chicago to getting dental implants that have made my life much happier. She has much better judgment than me, so I am invariably better off listening to her than the frequently wrong and sometimes insane voices inside my head, who have a disconcerting habit of always being wrong. For example, she gently discouraged me from pursuing the Saturday Night Live project, but like a real ding-dong, I went with my instincts instead. Bad move!
When I first met my wife twenty-three years ago, my first impression was that she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I still think that she’s the most beautiful woman in the world, but that has as much, if not more, to do with who she is on the inside.
She has grown into a woman of depth and substance. I’ve had the honor of watching her grow year by year and decade by decade. I am amazed by her perpetual growth. Since we began dating in July 2009, she’s only grown kinder, smarter, stronger, wiser, more mature, more empathetic, more compassionate, and more patient. In every conceivable way, she has come into her own.
You might think that it would take the patience of a saint to be married to someone like me. You would be correct.
She’s made a hard world not just tolerable but filled with meaning, purpose, happiness and connection. I could not ask for a better wife or person to co-parent with.
She’s also probably the single best-educated person to ever attend the Gathering of the Juggalos. There aren’t many people there with post-graduate degrees from Brown or the University of Chicago. She patiently tolerates my Juggalo tendencies and various other off-putting obsessions.
I am in awe of my wife’s ability to connect with people and their deepest emotions. That’s what has made her such a successful and in-demand therapist. She understands people in a way I can barely comprehend, let alone match.
She is a warrior for me and our children and a ferocious force for good in the universe.
We got an adorable little Teacup Yorkie, Champion, specifically to help me with my grief over the death of our old one, Ghostface Killah. I do not mind that Champion clearly prefers my wife over me and tags along after her like a puppy. I don’t blame him. If I had a choice between laying with my wife and laying with myself, I would choose to lay with her as well. Just like me, Champion wants to be close to her.
She’s like one of those fairy tale princesses in Disney cartoons that woodland creatures flock to, but real.
My wife exudes a warmth that draws people to her. But it goes beyond that. Even animals respond powerfully to her.
Children love her, and she loves children. She has no idea how wonderful she is or how dearly, deeply, and widely loved.
It was never my intention to really test the whole “for worse” part of our wedding vows. I was hoping “for better,” but life had other plans. She has been insanely loyal and devoted through all of the highs and lows. I will never stop working to justify the faith that she has in my abilities, even when I have lost faith in myself.
I wanted to take care of my wife the way she deserved. To give her a life of comfort and ease. Instead, she ended up taking care of me and experiencing a difficult life full of joy but also difficulties.
It’s not easy being the only non-autistic, non-ADHD member of a family, but she has handled the endless curveballs and surprises that life has lobbed at her with dignity and grace.
She’s made helping the neurodivergent her life, her livelihood, and her life’s quest. She couldn’t be more committed. She probably understands my autism more than I do.
I know it’s probably gross and weird for a man to be in love with his wife after a decade and a half, but I don’t just love my wife; I am in love with her.
She deserves more than words of effusive praise, but that’s my specialty. Words brought us together, but something much deeper and more profound has kept us together and deepened our bond.
So happy birthday, and thanks for everything, and I do mean everything.
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Nathan needed expensive, life-saving dental implants, and his dental plan doesn’t cover them, so he started a GoFundMe at https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-nathans-journey-to-dental-implants. Give if you can!
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