The Accidental Hilarity of Geraldo Rivera's Oblivious Larry David Diss
I am on Elon Musk’s Twitter purely for business reasons. My perpetually struggling lemonade stand of a business needs all the help that it can get, and Twitter remains an okay outlet for self-promotion.
But I’m also on Twitter because it’s a great source for subjects for blog posts like the one you’re reading now. Twitter is fundamentally not serious. The same is true of blogs, which are casual by nature.
Today, for example, I read a Tweet by Geraldo Rivera that made me laugh and filled me with joy, which is surprising because I naturally assumed that I was dead inside.
It read, “After 12 seasons, many viewers lament the passing of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” Larry David’s sour, pseudo bio-series. I’m not a fan because Larry truly is the self-righteous, snobby, self-loathing, narcissistic ass he portrays. That opinion is informed by an outdoor afternoon at Martha’s Vineyard birthday party at the home of retiring Harvard Professor Alan Dershowitz.
I spotted Larry in the crowd and walked toward him. Instead of making at least nominal polite contact, Larry ostentatiously avoided even looking in my direction. He actually scurried about in theatrical panic, ducking behind other guests Groucho Marx-style as he made sure to keep a safe distance.
I later found out from Dershowitz that it was because I worked at the time for Fox News, and was generally supportive of my old friend President Trump.”
Larry, who I’ve never met, apparently was taking his cue from the famous Fox hater renting the big place next door.
Visible through the bushes separating the properties, President Barack Obama refused to make the two-minute walk over to Dersh’s place for the same reason: Fear of Fox.
Now, every time I see Larry being rude, crude, and intolerant on television, I say that’s him, that really is Larry David, and he’s not acting.”
The purpose of this dour, self-serious, and wonderfully oblivious tweet is to make Larry David and Barack Obama look bad by exposing them as people who don’t want to hang out with Jeffrey Epstein’s lawyer and close personal friend Alan Dershowitz and Geraldo fucking Rivera.
Instead, it makes David and Obama seem awesome, and Dershowitz and Rivera look like total tools.
They aren’t motivated by a fear of FOX. They don’t want to spend time with Dershowitz because, again, he was a key part of Jeffrey Epstein’s legal team and is, objectively, a terrible person who sold out and now is chagrined that he is a pariah.
He’s not just a pariah at that one party; he’s a pariah everywhere. He wrote an editorial for The Hill in which he whined that even though he totally doesn’t support Trump in any way, beyond writing a book called The Case Against Impeaching Trump, which I can only assume is a vicious diatribe against the twice-impeached ex-president and fellow Jeffrey Epstein best pal Donald Trump, people of conscience still shun him.
Rivera delusionally seems to think that once the public learns that Larry David, who is famous for being prickly, ornery, and a total pain in the ass, is, in fact, prickly, ornery, and a total pain in the ass, they’ll be disgusted and turn against him.
I don’t know anything about social niceties. I’m autistic. I don’t make eye contact, but I’m guessing that publicly whining that a famous stranger didn’t want to make small talk with you or Jeffrey Epstein’s lawyer is a greater faux pas/transgression than not talking to Geraldo Rivera or Alan Dershowitz in a social setting.
Here’s the thing, Geraldo Rivera: Larry David does not owe you eye contact, small talk, a conversation, or anything else.
Also, I love that Rivera stands in sour judgment of David for being, in his words, “rude, crude and intolerant” but had absolutely no problem supporting Donald Trump in 2016 and 2020. Being rude, crude, and intolerant is fine for the most powerful person in the world, but it is NOT acceptable for an icon of dark comedy.
Also, Dershowitz may be a retiring Harvard Professor to you, Geraldo Rivera. To the rest of us, he’s human garbage who helped Jeffrey Epstein avoid the consequences of a sex trafficking ring of historic proportions.
Rivera is all mixed up, like Pasta Primavera.
Twitter may be nearly worthless now, but it is still useful for self-promotion, blog ideas, and hilarious comedy, albeit of the unintentional variety, from clowns like Geraldo Rivera.
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