I'm Pleasantly Surprised That Trump's Re-Election Didn't Drive Me Back to Drinking
I fell off the wagon, hard, on November 8th, 2016. That was the awful day that reality show bozo Donald Trump shocked the world by defeating the infinitely more qualified Hillary Clinton to become the forty-fifth president of the United States.
I’d refrained from drinking alcohol for a few months before that day, but I needed more than a few stiff drinks to help me cope with the horrifying reality that Donald Trump would be president for at least the next four years.
I have an addictive personality. I coped unhealthily with depression and anxiety, as well as undiagnosed, untreated autism, ADHD, and Bipolar II by drinking every night, smoking marijuana, and consuming sugar and caffeine in qualities that would kill a lesser man.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but the various neurological conditions and mental illnesses inside my brain did not produce enough dopamine, so I was perpetually on a hunt for more.
Marijuana and alcohol calmed my mind. It helped regulate my perpetually frazzled brain. It allowed my racing thoughts to slow down a little so that I could do at least a halfway decent impression of a human being.
I was not an alcoholic. It would be more accurate to say that I enjoyed drinking, but the truth is that I didn’t particularly enjoy drinking. It was, instead, something that I did out of habit.
Every evening after five o’clock I would make myself a Screwdriver with Tito’s Vodka that I would nurse for the rest of the night.
I didn’t get drunk. I didn’t get tipsy. But my autistic brain craves rituals and traditions. I drank because that’s what I did every night.
When I had my dental implant surgery, I had to stop smoking pot. I couldn’t smoke anything anymore without risking damage to the implants. I spent fifty thousand dollars on the surgery. It has done wonders for my self-esteem, quality of life, and happiness.
I’m not going to do anything that might fuck up my beautiful, perfect white teeth. They’re not the real thing; they’re even better than the real thing.
I thought that I’d have a hard time giving up smoking pot because that was similarly a nightly tradition I enjoyed. I liked every aspect of it. I enjoyed cleaning my pipe and the physical act of smoking.
Yet smoking pot was surprisingly easy to give up, in part because I learned to love the wild world of edibles.
My dental implants were, and are, a big deal. It wasn’t just something I was willing to spend a not-so-small fortune on; it was a life-changer. It gave me a new lease on life.
So I decided, about eight months ago, that I would stop drinking alcohol. It seemed like a bad habit that I should kick. I had a single alcoholic beverage at the Limp Bizkit concert I attended on August 4th, but otherwise, I have completely abstained.
Like giving up smoking, not drinking was easier than I anticipated. That’s partially because I think that I am weak-willed and need my vices and crutches just to get by.
I specifically worried that I would start drinking if Donald Trump was re-elected. I’d logged a few months of abstaining from alcohol before I fell off the wagon hard on November 8th, 2016.
I have a hard time doing things in moderation. It’s generally all or nothing for me. I either drink every night, or I don’t drink at all.
In the seven and a half years that followed, I drank every night. I didn’t stop until my dental implants.
I’m proud to say that I did not return to drinking in the aftermath of Trump’s reelection. I was tempted, but I do not want to give Trump the power to compromise my sobriety, or at least my California sobriety, since I still enjoy THC in non-smokable form.
We have four difficult years ahead of us, at the very least. I want to be at my best for myself, my family, and my readers, and I can’t be my best if I’m drinking and smoking pot and assiduously avoiding sobriety.
I have overlapping problems with procrastination and fear, which is common for ADHD folks. That was not helped by alcohol or smoking weed.
I need to do better. I need to be better. I need to be at my best. I’m proud of myself.
Donald Trump launched vodka and wine lines but famously does not drink. He was so devastated by the early death of his alcoholic brother Fred Jr. that he nobly decided that he would not drink, but he would happily sell the poison that killed his brother to other alcoholics.
Snorting Adderall is more Trump’s speed, but he’s probably led more people to drink as an ineffective form of coping with life’s cruelty than any other American in the last fifty years.
That’s not going to be me. It won’t be the worst thing in the world if I have a drink or two, but I like having self-discipline and self-control more than an adult beverage, so I hope that giving up alcohol is a permanent life change.
Unlike so much in this world, particularly in the political sphere, I have control over whether or not I drink, and I think I have enough self-control to give up alcohol permanently. Hopefully!
Nathan needed expensive, life-saving dental implants, and his dental plan doesn’t cover them, so he started a GoFundMe at https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-nathans-journey-to-dental-implants. Give if you can!
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