One of you kindly sadists had me watch a demon-sex-themed Scott Valentine vehicle from 1987 that, to be honest, is pretty fucked up.
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One of you kind sadists paid me one hundred dollars to watch and write about 1999’s Boy Wonderz, a hilariously inept direct to video exploitation cheapie that’s the Rapsittie Street Kids Believe in Santa of opportunistic boy band dramas. I mean that as both withering criticism and high praise.
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One of you generous sadists paid me a cool hundred dollars to write about a 1980 adaptation of Little Lord Fauntleroy featuring the dynamic duo of Ricky (later Rick, Richard and then finally R-DAWG) and Alec Guiness in an article GUARANTEED to have the internet going nuts.
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The idea of a retro-futuristic action comedy about a dystopian world where beefs between gangs are resolved through a Dance, Dance Revolution-type game is promising. So how the hell did The FP become a movie mostly about the hilarity of white people calling each other racial epithets?
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One of you kindly sadists slipped me a cool one hundred bones to see a three hour long expose about neocons and Islamist extremism that may not technically be a movie, but is compelling and prescient all the same.
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For my column where I let readers like YOU pay me one hundred dollars to write about a movie, author Mike Sacks had me watch a hilariously awful vanity project from Burt Reynolds about a magical, amnesia-stricken hobo who helps a ragtag group of baseball players believe in themselves.
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One of you kind sadists slipped me one hundred dollars to watch The Greatest Showman, an old-fashioned musical secret smash that is corny as hell in a very fun way.
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One of you generous weirdoes paid me one hundred dollars to see a movie about a cop who is also a samurai. Also, Tommy Wiseau is involved. It was, to be brutally honest, a little bit silly, but in a fun, retro, ironic kind of way.
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One of you kind souls slipped me a cool C-note to revisit Ben Stiller’s 2008 epic show-business satire.
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In the latest entry in the column where readers like YOU pay me money to see a film of their choice I revisit a good movie for once, 2004’s Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless and talk Manic Pixie Dream Girls, Sad Boys and Nice Guys.
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